My Son Can't Be This Good
by Buttonspaz
Summary: A goofy series centered around a perverted Naruto, and a Horny Kushina. When a 17 year old pervert Naruto Uzumaki returns to Konoha for a 'vacation', what hilarity will be incited through a fated meeting at a local Hot Springs? (Uzumakicest) Naruto x Kushina
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I Own nothing! No Naruto! Those rights are to Masashi Kishimoto!**

Perverted giggles could be heard from the Hokage Mountain, a famous tourist attraction and the current hiding spot for our character.

It had been a long day for him; countless hours spent studying the perfection of the female kind here at Konoha. He'd visited many hot spots for beauties, the hot springs, female side of course! The lake on the outskirts of the village, gazing at only the females of course! And last but not least the Anbu HQ, female dressing rooms of course…

Oh it had been such an eventful day for the sage. It helped that nobody had seen his masculine body in years. Although his vibrant yellow hair should've alerted every woman in Konoha to his presence. For he wasn't a simple sage! Oh no! He was the Ultra Spectacular Snake Sage Master of Epicness! All ladies swooned in his presence; no female was out of his reach. He was nothing like that Jiraiya fellow, oh no, that perverted man was an amateur compared to him! Jiraiya was just an average pervert that peeked on women; there was nothing special about him, even though he was a 'Sannin'. But no, he wasn't like Jiraiya, average kunoichi might satisfy him for a few moments, but not forever.

But he wasn't here for just the local kunoichi, no, he was here for one beauty in particular. It would be the hardest female to conquer and it would take all of his manliness to accomplish the daring feat. He made a pledge, by the end of his trip to Konoha, he would have completely crossed the taboos and blockades put in place by the modern day society. He would crush those barriers down and accomplish a feat that almost all of society would frown upon, and become disgusted at the very thought.

By the end of his trip, he would have successfully slept with Kushina Uzumaki, his own mother.

Anyway! Uhum! Our protagonist of 17 years had been helping himself to all the delectable experiences that Konoha had to offer, and not just the food. Oh no, he was in it for the 'full' experience. There were no whore houses that could satisfy him, no amount of food that could calm him, he was untameable. This little titbit could be figured out by the copious amounts of Kunoichi currently searching their village with vigour in search for their panties, panties that he'd stolen mind you.

It wasn't that difficult of an achievement for him, he'd stolen panties with higher stakes, and that was when he was 14. This was like child's play for him. Although he did admit that he might've played a little dirty by placing the panties of the Konoha kunoichi in the houses of various men.

Married or single, he didn't discriminate…

Yeah that was probably a dog move, and he'd be the first to admit it.

But that was the past! And the past was behind him like that single mother he'd banged that one time. Oh that was a good one, hehe.

On another note we see our protagonist for the first time!

He had yellow hair reaching to the back of his knees, an orange long sleeved shirt with black long pants. He had nothing covering his forehead and normal shinobi sandals. He seemed to be pondering something that could change his life for the next few days.

"Now should I or should I not take a break at the local hot springs?" Letting out a perverted giggle he answered his own rhetorical question. Vanishing with the use of a shunshin our hero appeared before the bamboo walls that lined the outside of the hot springs. He took careful note that he was on the outside of the 'Male' section of the hot springs and let out a small shudder. He'd made that mistake once before, never again.

Slowly moving around to the female side he tried to contain the giggles that threatened to escape his lips. Setting himself up behind the wall, he pressed a section of the bamboo and a little circle of the wall popped out. He carefully placed it in his pocket and was trying with all his might to contain the giggle ready to be released. He was so close; he couldn't give himself away because of something so basic.

There were always fine beauties in this area of the village; the spring was a hot spot for civilian and kunoichi alike. If he was in luck, then he'd spot the kunoichi of the village bathing themselves, they always had the better and shapelier bodies, with the chakra effecting their growth in all the right ways.

He moved his eye to the hole, and instantly had blood start pouring out of his nose. The reason for this spontaneous nose bleed was that a few interesting characters were currently bathing in the springs today. He had to smother his chakra even more than usual, a few of these ladies were just plain dangerous. He had a variety to pick from, as it seems most of the kunoichi in the village decided to have a get together. Women like Tsume Inuzuka, Yugao Uzuki, Shizune, Kurenai Yuhi and even Tsunade Senju the Hokage herself.

Naruto supressed a giggle as he continued to watch them, a stream of never ending blood trickling out of his nose, just watching their perfect bodies as they breathed got him excited, the way their breasts moved up and down with each breath they took.

'This is perfect! My eyes do not deceive me! Oh how Kami shines upon me on this fine day. Now all I've got to do is take the measurements for further…Oh dear sweet Kami, I HAVE BEEN BLESSED!' Near the end of his inner rant, a particular female entered the bathing; this was none other than Kushina Uzumaki, one of the deadliest kunoichi to walk the face of the elemental nations. Just the one he wanted to see.

'But now with her here, my time is coming to a close, now if I can just take the measurements…Oh my word Kaa-chan, you've not aged a moment since I've been gone, Ku ku ku. Ack'

Naruto's brain almost short circuited as Kushina turned around, letting him get a full view at her body. Flawlessly white skin accompanied her entire body, with amazing curves in all the right places. Her breasts were a full D cup topped with delectable pink nubs, and had no sag whatsoever, she had wide child birthing hips that made you want to spread them, and a nice red mound of hair above her pussy lips. Naruto could feel his erection growing, it was difficult not to get hard in her presence, and even if she was his mother, he was a pervert at heart, the greatest pervert there was! He would be either a fool or a homosexual to not get excited over a body that would put gods to shame. He started to drool and had to resist giving into the urge to masturbate over the view he was currently getting. Oh he would definitely get her one day, he definitely would. He almost came then and there when she walked into the water, he could barely handle the way the water glistened on her skin, and how the heat hardened her pink nipples.

'I've got all I need for my work, I just have to get out of here and type it all up, hehe, oh Kaa-chan you've given me quite the show, and you didn't even realise! I'll get with you one day my princess, hehehe' With his retreat imminent, and his work for the day finished, he slowly went about placing the circle of wood in its original place, but just as he pulled the circle of wood out of his pocket, disaster struck. With all his ogling over the body of his mother, he'd forgotten to supress his chakra, letting his control slip and his presence be known for a moment. He froze, hoping and praying to all the gods that could hear him for everything to be ok.

But alas it was for naught, as the next words had him rethinking his current strategy.

"Wait that chakra! Naruto-kun?" Oh fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit!

He should have run then and there, notice the 'should'. He should have bolted the heck outta there and gotten to a safe distance, before returning to seduce his mother at a later date, notice the 'should'. Naruto did not do these things; he chose the less walked path, the path of pain.

'Ok Naruto, you're gonna look through that hole, take a look at their luscious bodies one last time, and then get the hell outta dodge!'

Now when you're horny, they say that your little buddy rules your actions, Naruto showed this exact thing brilliantly.

He carefully levelled his breathing and prepared himself, slowly, oh so slowly his eye neared the peeking hole. All he had to do was get another glimpse of that beautiful body, just one last peek!

But when he looked through the hole, he saw…

Nothing.

"Huh?"

Naruto's surprise must have shown, his face twisted into a perplexed one. He could've sworn that there were hot kunoichi in there just a second ago. No, he was positive that he saw Kushina in the springs; his hardened penis supported that fact. So where were they? They couldn't have just disappeared, so they had to be somewhere. Maybe they moved to the other side behind the rocks? Maybe they went to go dry themselves off in the shower rooms! Oooh, maybe they-!

"AHEM!"

Terror, deep primal terror. Naruto only felt this way in certain situations. No enemy could make him feel this much self-pity.

'Kami's above and beyond, help guide my troubled soul…'

Good news, he found where the kunoichi's were. Bad news, the kunoichi's found where he was. Now their towel clad bodies were standing a few metres to the left of him, with barely contained anger and evil grins on their faces.

'Gulp'

Naruto's eyes widened in fear as sweat dripped down his forehead, the kunoichi he was previously spying on seemingly found his position. Damn him for letting his chakra slip! He'd have to practice with that more in the future, hmm, controlling your chakra while peeking on hot kunoichi? That sounded like a great exercise!

Forgetting about the imminent danger, he pulled out a pen and paper and started writing his notes down, he could easily forget things if not written down. Although preoccupied, it did nothing to sway the irate kunoichi's of their anger. You could almost see steam shooting out their noses as they prepared to deliver feminine fury upon the one that dared to peek on them!

Naruto realized his situation, and stopped writing down his ideas. He wiped his mind clean of those thoughts; it was not a good time to get distracted by such trivial things. This one would take delicate action, and if he was lucky, then he could appeal to his mother, she always had a soft spot for him, even with his perverted ways. He collected his thoughts and decided on the correct route he would have to take to escape with his testicles intact.

'Ok Naruto buddy think! You've got yourself into this, now it's time to get yourself out! The question is how…Hmm I could play it off that I was walking past and saw an opening in the wall? No, that would never work on kunoichi's. I could try appeal to their mother instincts; say I was raised by perverts? No, Kaa-chan's there, oh boy, she's not aged a day, those breasts, topped with perfect nipples, oh Kami I just want to stick my head between her legs and…No, can't think like that now, only after I get of this situation. Might as well go with my best option, here goes nothing!'

Before they could deliver their judgement, they halted, seeing Naruto stand up to his full height of 6 foot and 5 inches. He had a serious look on his face, standing proud and tall, hair waving in the wind. Seeing how handsome their soon-to-be-beating-victim was, was almost enough to them forgive him, but they would not relent! He would get a beating no matter how handsome he was!

Kushina had a deceptively sweet smile as she stood there, clad in only a towel to hide her more favourable parts, something which Naruto's eyes were currently gazing over. She stepped forward and cleared her throat.

"Sochi, why were you peeking on the girls hot springs? And why did you not stop when I came in, naked might I add." She finished with the smile on her face growing. Surprisingly Naruto did not falter in the slightest, he actually responded with a smile of his own.

"Well Kaa-chan, concerning your first question, I was just admiring all the beauties that Konoha had to offer. As for your second question, what kind of man would I be to not admire a goddess in a human body at the first chance I get? I have to say, you've not aged a day since I've left, your skin is just as milky and wonderful as I remembered, your breasts haven't started to sag at all, your hips are still as wide, your ass is as tight as I remember, and the way you blush when I describe you like that just gets me excited! Not to mention, how could I not admire your beautiful red hair? Both patches of it."

He was right in his last point, as he pointed to her face, which had in fact been reddening with every word he spoke about her. If he had to guess, it was in both anger and embarrassment, especially seeing how tightly she was clutching her towel.

Kushina started stammering, her blush not lessening in the slightest as the women around her looked slightly disgusted and even more agitated.

"I'm your mother! You shouldn't say those things about me! It's not normal and you shouldn't be thinking that!"

The only thing that broke through Naruto's stone cold façade at that was a slight snort and an amused smile.

"You forget Kaa-chan, I'm the Ultra Pervert! If I was allowed to be swayed by the moral taboos of today's society I would never have reached the level I'm at now! A small little titbit like you being my birth mother is nothing but an obstacle to me! Just you wait my beautiful Tenshi! I'll get back inside you the way I came out, I'll just be going back in with a different 'head'. Hehehe."

Not paying attention to looks of absolute disgust on each of the faces of the women, Naruto once again pulled out his notebook and started jotting down ideas, every now and again letting out a perverted giggle. He also paid note to the way his mother's blush reached atomic levels, with her face looking a lot more like her nickname 'tomato'.

This was seemingly enough for Tsunade as her brain finally registered their original purpose when confronting Naruto. With a mighty roar, one hand holding the towel to her body, the other coming around for a massive right hook, she charged at him with all the grace of a bear. Just as she was about to plant her fist into Naruto's face and smear his body across the ground, his brain finally realized the oncoming danger. Without putting down his notebook Naruto disappeared in a shunshin, and only when Tsunade lifted her hand from where it split the ground in half did they realize that he'd teleported behind his mother, and in the middle of the kunoichi group.

Naruto placed his notebook back into his pocket and wrapped his arms around a stunned and still tomato red Kushina. He ground his body against her towel clad one and left no room between them as he started to whisper huskily into her ear.

"I know you've been aching for a man my dear Tenshi, you've not allowed anyone touch you for over 17 years have you, you see it as betraying Minato, a dead man." He paused here, noting how Kushina shivered at his hot breath in her ear and his pelvis grinding against her backside.

"But you wouldn't deny your own Sochi would you? I can give you love that no one else can offer; I can offer you my body and soul. I've gotta go now beautiful, places to go, people to see, but I'll be seeing you again, you can count on that. I'll never leave you alone again…" Naruto left one last kiss on her shoulder as he shunshined away from the group of extremely irate kunoichi.

Appearing next to a shocked Tsunade, he smacked her ass before finally leaving the scene of the crime.

"Ohh, nice bounce, plump, and tight, I could bounce coin off it Tsunade!"

The group of kunoichi cut their losses and went back to bathing in the hot springs, with an extremely embarrassed and turned on Kushina contemplating just why her vagina was so wet after the experience with her son.

The group sat in the water and chatted about their experience, Tsunade was obviously the most vocal of them all, with the others listening intently, adding their own thoughts when needed. The only one not participating in the group chat was Kushina for obvious reasons.

"When I find that little shit, and when I get my hands on him, I'm gonna give him a beating that'll make the one I gave Jiraiya look like a play fight between two children!" This statement was accompanied by a show of how she was going to do so.

"Yeah, that little pervert went too far! Who does he think he is, touching his mother like that? Kushina, he's your son, what do you have to say about this! You're the mother he wants to fuck!" Tsume seemed to lack the subtlety needed for this delicate conversation.

Kushina looked zoned out for a moment, slowly rubbing her legs together as she mumbled unintelligible words. She got her wits together as she realized the question.

"W-well, I don't know what to think." All the kunoichi's looked perplexed; Shizune was the first one to respond.

"What's there to think about? Your son is obviously a massive pervert, a normal person doesn't go around peeking on women's hot springs, smack a Kage's ass, and offer to have sex with their own mother!"

Kushina stammered, trying to find the right words in response to the extremely blunt comment. She settled herself for sinking further into the water, up to her nose as she thought about what her son said.

'Naruto's right, I haven't had sex for 17 years, the furthest I've gone is with toys and stimulating myself. My son called me beautiful, he commented on how my red hair was beautiful! Even my unshaved patch of pubes! He didn't look at me like a piece of meat, not like all the other men, he sees me for who I am, he sees me for me! Sees me as Kushina Uzumaki…'

The other kunoichi trying to get her attention wondered what she was thinking as a curious look appeared on her face.

'Sex with my own son, it couldn't be that bad to try could it?'


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

**Now I usually put the AN down the bottom, but I just wanted you all to read this. I honestly didn't expect so much of a response from the Fanfiction community when I posted my 3k word, perverted, funny story online for you to read. I was amazed when I woke the next day, and had around 90 favourites and around the same amount of follows. Crazy stuff guys! For something that I posted at 12 in the night, Australian time, I didn't expect so many people to follow it.**

**For those of you who read my other stories, thank you for following me! Don't know why I decided to be so nice, must be my iced coffee making me all thankful…**

**And I don't know how some of you will take this chapter...**

**The reviews will be...interesting to say the least...**

**ON WITH THE STORY! *Giggle snort* *Maniacal laughter* *Perverted giggle***

Needless to say, the kunoichi of the village spent the next few hours scouring for the panty-stealing, Kage ass smacking, incestuous, vile beast of a pervert.

At least that's what their Hokage said he was when she set the order for capture. She was also quite angry and throwing desks, dictionaries, and surprisingly bottles of sake, whose broken shards were later picked up by said sobbing Hokage who deeply regretted her decision. For hours the city of Konoha bore witness to a full grown woman, a Kage at that, sobbing and wailing loudly at the loss of her precious store.

But where was our favourite pervert during all of this?

"NOOO MYYYY SAAAAKKKKEEEE!"

Naruto lifted his head up from his current position, curiosity written over his face as he stared in the direction of the Hokage's office. He let out a huff before returning his sight to a more appropriate one. This was the greatest hiding place in the entire village, nobody would even think of checking here. Who would ever think to look for the greatest pervert there was, in the Hokage mountain?

It was genius, if he did say so himself.

But now wasn't the time for thinking about how great he was! Oh no, it was the time to scheme! He needed to come up with a brilliant plan after all. A plan that would turn even the likes of Shikaku green with envy, and what is this plan you might ask?

"Hmmm, now how can I appropriately fuck my mother? Hmmm…"

That's right folks, no better time to spend an afternoon than fantasising about sleeping with your incredibly hot babe of a mother.

Who's also a milf…Because she's hot you know…

Anyways, it was only a matter of time before day turned to night, and Naruto stayed in his thinking position. Every now and then writing something in his notepad, before scrunching the paper up with a frustrated look on his face, none of the plans he came up with were perfect.

Before it hit him like a freight train, the perfect plan! He stood up tall and victorious. Revelling in the great achievement that he'd just accomplished, he'd done it.

"This is it! I've got it! Just need to cross that out…then change these around...VWALLAAHH! I've done it! Hehehe Kaa-chan, just you wait, I'll be seeing you soon, in time. But I must not rush these things my Tenshi, you're so special, so I'm going to save you for last hehehe. Just like good food, you save the best till last. But you're better than food my Kaa-chan! Oh, I can just picture those lovely velvet folds rubbing over my mouth as I explore deep inside her beautiful-"

He shook his head and poured a cold bucket of water over his growing erection, the bucket being one he grabbed from about 12 different ones.

He needed to cool down when thinking about Kushina.

"No, I mustn't be hasty, good things come to those who wait, and I'm waiting for a great thing!"

He closed his eyes for a moment and all was silent. This was before he jumped up, placing his notepad away and turning his eyes towards the village. A lecherous and perverse grin that even Jiraiya would cringe at took residence on his face as he let out a perverted giggle that resounded throughout the village, the sound being amplified by the nose of Hashirama.

It didn't matter if the female residents of the village were awake or asleep, old or young, married or single, straight or lesbian, virgin or ploughed. For a collective shudder crawled down the spines of the entire female population at the sound of the oncoming doom. Something was coming.

They just didn't know what…

The only ones that had an idea of who was responsible for the cry were the kunoichi that were at the hot springs that fateful day. However only two women of that group were currently awake, one was contemplating the loss of her precious sake, and if she should put out a bounty on the perverted letch that dared to touch her godly behind. The other one was currently fingering herself to the call that resounded through the night. There was only one person that could make a sound that profound; she already knew what she'd do when he came to visit her. She was picturing their meeting quite vividly, and while her fingers couldn't provide what she was sure he could, they were sufficient enough for the time being.

How could have she been reduced to this? A simple whore who moaned at the thought of her son penetrating her?

And why didn't she reject the thought of getting fucked by her own son?

Maybe, just maybe, this is who she really was.

**-oOo-With Tsunade-oOo-**

Tsunade wasn't having a good day.

"Curse him! Damn him! Damn him to the deepest depths of hell!"

First it was that incestuous mess of a sage, and then it was her sake. Why was it always the sake that had to suffer? Why couldn't it be someone else that smashed into a thousand different pieces while the fluid they contained within them spread all over the floor?

That definitely sounded wrong now that she thought about it.

"Kami it's been a long day and it's all thanks to that boy. Why did he have to return now, why couldn't he and his perverted ways have stayed far away from this village?" She certainly wasn't expecting a reply, that's why she was shocked when a voice broke through the darkness.

"Because I've gotten bored with other villages recently, and my supply of good women in those villages is running out, so I thought to myself 'Where's a good spot with heaps of beauties?' and then I remembered! Konoha!" By the time he'd finished his speech he was standing in front of Tsunade, teeth shining brightly in the poorly lit room.

At the sight of the person she currently hated most in the world she had to restrain herself from jumping her desk and smearing his face across the wall. She settled herself for letting out a small growl and barking out in anger.

"ANBU!"

On her command, an ANBU officer landed behind Naruto, their tanto drawn and ready to end his life at the drop of a hat. Tsunade expected to see some fear in his eyes, what she didn't expect was for him to close his eyes, and a smirk to appear on his face.

Only he knew why he was smirking, and the reason for that was simple. It was because he knew he could easily disarm the Anbu officer and then proceed to kill them where they stood. It was because he could easily kill the officer and then seduce Tsunade where she sat, but where was the fun in that? But these weren't the reasons, the true reason was because…

The Anbu officer currently behind him, the one currently holding a deadly weapon to his head, was a female.

Letting out a perverted giggle, his smirk turned a tad bit lecherous. He couldn't have asked for anything better, now it was time to work his magic. He turned in place as the Anbu reacted; pushing the weapon forward with intent to kill, but it was for naught as Naruto pushed the tanto to the side of his face and moved forward, closing the distance between him and the alarmed Anbu. He pushed her back against a wall as he put a seal around them, sealing them inside, not allowing outside interference, something which had Tsunade punching the walls in frustration.

He knocked the weapon out of her hand as his body pressed against hers. He could feel her breathing speed up as he removed her mask, revealing a pretty face, pouty lips and green eyes, her brown hair framing her face. He turned his face away from hers for a moment, looking Tsunade in the eyes as a handsome smile formed on his face. Bringing his face around again, the smile still on his face, he looked the Anbu directly in the eyes. She gasped as he brought his mouth next to her ear, as his pelvis ground into her moistening privates.

"You don't really want to hurt me? Do you Anbu-chan?" Naruto gave her ear a long lick after he spoke, with her body shivering underneath the treatment, her arousal already climbing to incredible heights.

"N-no"

"Why did you try to kill me then? Is it because I'm scary?" He sped up his hip movements, and sucked softly on her earlobe and neck. The kunoichi was becoming increasingly aroused and from the way she was grinding back, she was close to release.

"I-it w-was because I serve Hoka-ge-sama…" Her breathing was increasing and she had started to pant, she was so close.

"Well I don't think you deserve what I wanted to give you" A devilish grin formed on his face as he stopped his actions and moved her waist away from his. It was easy to see the panic in her eyes as he did this, and the way her hips moved for sweet release.

"NO! Please, I'm so close" She was practically begging, and he knew he'd once again gotten what he wanted. His smile once again grew as he attached his lips to hers. His hands moving down to the waistline of her pants and slipping inside, his fingers seeking her warm core and entering its soft velvety insides, he readied himself for the oncoming flood.

"All you had to do was ask." This was the breaking point for the kunoichi as she started to shudder, and her pants became wet. Naruto let her go as she dropped into a heap on the floor, her legs not being able to support her post-the-most-amazing-orgasm-she'd-ever-had.

Naruto turned his head towards Tsunade as he removed the barrier seal, he pulled out his notebook and started to giggle perversely at what he'd accomplished, every now and then gazing at the extremely horny Hokage. But who could blame her; she'd just watched the greatest pervert and lady man working his magic! His technique could turn any woman, no matter how strong their will was, into a dopey mess on the floor. No woman was safe from his manliness!

Breaking out of his perverted stupor, he shook his head and tucked away his notebook, he had work to do, and he was going to finish what he'd come here for. Kissing the Anbu on the lips one last time, he moved over to Tsunade with a grin.

"You should've known better than to have a female Anbu guard. You should know that no amount of training can help a kunoichi in my presence!" His grin grew to larger levels as he let out small giggles.

"Not even you can resist me Tsunade, I know you wanted to feel what I was doing to my Kaa-chan a while ago, didn't you? Don't you? Tell me Tsunade…" He paused as he appeared behind her, picking her up and fondling her breasts as she moaned.

"When was the last time you were touched?" She growled but couldn't find the strength to push him away from her, he was just so good.

"What's it to you? You shameless perverted wretch!" Naruto smirked, he loved it when they played hard to get.

"I just wanted to know how much dust I'll be blowing out of your vagina when I plough you into your desk."

He accentuated his point by moving a hand down to her crotch, and rubbing her lower lips through the fabric of her pants. She moved her hands down to stop him, but that was before he pressed his finger in slightly, spreading her folds a tiny bit and sending jolts of pleasure up her spine. So she settled for grabbing his hair with her iron grip as she tried to move her pussy harder against his fingers.

"Fine, I haven't been with anyone since Dan! Now shut up and finish what you started!" She was ready for this, and she was already horny enough with the earlier displayed he'd put on for her, now she couldn't wait until he took his meat and ploughed her until she couldn't walk.

But he didn't do this, instead she heard him choke on his spit, as his hands stopped moving. They didn't move for a few minutes and she was starting to wonder what the big idea was. As she turned around she noticed that his face wasn't moving, and he had a blank look in his eyes. She was about to hit him to get him going again before he started mumbling inaudible words.

She narrowed her eyes and moved her ear closer to his mouth, she could barely make out what he was saying, but she heard enough to make sense of the mindless mumbling.

"No sex since Dan…Around 50 years old…Around twenties when slept with Dan…No fuck in 30 years…"

Naruto couldn't believe it, when Tsunade had told him the last time she'd had sex, he just couldn't fathom it.

No sex for 30 years…

Tsunade was living his own personal version of hell.

He licked his lips, seemingly preparing himself for something, and his throat was a little dry.

"How…?" Tsunade was intrigued, although she had a slight idea of what he meant.

"What do you mean 'how?'?" His eyes seemed to gain a new light as his face became incredibly pale.

"How could you not have sex in 30 years!?How could you not do it?!" Tsunade tried to contain her laughter as he started to go into shutdown mode, was it really that difficult for him to imagine not having sex for that long?

Apparently so.

"Well it wasn't that hard, I admit I was tempted to just sleep with random men for a quick release, but it wouldn't have been satisfying in the end. Besides, I just pleasured myself with toys and my fingers whenever I got extremely horny." Naruto's face was becoming paler throughout her speech, how could she have not done it?

"But, surely you would've wanted a piece of meat inside you? I just…I don't understand…" Mouth opening and closing, he stared at her in shock.

"It doesn't matter how long it's been, you're going to be the first man I've been with in 30 years! Now shut up and fuck me hard, I'm already wet enough that you can stick it in straight away."

Now Naruto may be a pervert, and an ultra-pervert at that. But there was one thing that he hated more than anything in the world. It was something that he despised even more than that wannabe snake sage Orochimaru, and even more than that fucking Akatsuki that he'd been hearing about lately, no it's much worse than that.

And that's being dominated.

Like a light switch going off in his brain he realized what kind of woman Tsunade was. Her entire psychology and attitude should have already set off red lights in the 'fuck' or 'fuck later' column of his brain. And as she was now, Tsunade was definitely in the 'fuck later' side.

He thought about his situation as the clogs started to turn, he'd have to be careful with this, he couldn't plough this field as it was, it needed to be prepped and properly looked after. He would fuck Tsunade that's for sure, but today wasn't the day.

Naruto had a rule with the dominatrix type women, and that was that he never went after them, he let them come to him. They were a tricky and kinky type of women, and required a special type of treatment. By making them come to him for a good fuck, he'd have taken away all the possible power they'd have during the deed. With this thought in mind Naruto went about preparing what he would later dub the 'Domination of Hokage dominatrix plan!'

He wasn't good with names…

Naruto watched closely as she moved in for a kiss, she was engaging first, that supported the 'dominatrix Tsunade' theory. He moved just before her lips touched his, he pushed her away as she fell and lay sprawled out on the floor. She blinked a few times before growling up at him, although her anger was cut short as he dove onto her, his form hovering over her as his fingers went to work. She moaned as his digits bypassed the waistline of her pants and dove straight into her honey pot, he was magnificent, she almost howled out as he hit spots that neither she nor Dan had hit, and ones that she didn't even know existed.

Naruto began to suck her nipples as he continued to thrust his fingers into her sopping pussy, Tsunade's moans become louder and louder as time went on. She was so close and both of them knew it. It was only a matter of time before Naruto used his thumb and rubbed her clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through her that sent her over the edge. Naruto slowed down his thrusts and brought his mouth from her breasts as she rode her orgasm.

Tsunade was in heaven. That was the best orgasm that she'd had in years; pleasuring herself didn't even come close to what she'd just experienced. But she was annoyed, and was about to explode, she had to have him inside her now!

Just as Tsunade watched him slowly lick her juices from his fingers he stood up, moving away from Tsunade as her hand shot towards him. He leered at her with a perverse smile as he continued to suck all the juice from his fingers.

"You taste delicious my beautiful Fem-Kage, like sweet honey with a hint of bitterness!" She shuddered at the smile he was wearing, but she could wait no longer, she had to have him.

She moved forward and was about to grab his pants before his hand shot out and grabbed both of her hands, his smile grew as he moved them over to the Kage's chair. Sitting down in it he placed Tsunade between his legs. This was all a part of the plan when dealing with girls that liked to dominate; you have to make them bow down to you.

She growled up at him and tried to sit up, but he was too fast. He placed his hand on her head and stared down at her with a small smile.

"If you want the main course, you're going to work for it, I did something for you, now you're gonna do something for me."

Tsunade growled before opening his fly and pulled down his pants.

"Fine!"

She was just about to rage at him about waiting for the main course when she saw his penis, he wasn't even erect yet, had she not put on a good enough display acting like a common whore before? That's not all, he was at least 5 inches, he was above average and something that she'd make use of too the fullest extent.

Before she could complain his penis was right in front of her mouth, smacking against her cheek. Naruto stared down at her.

"Suck it."

She complied with a slight glare, taking the head into her mouth and sucking on it, before cupping his balls and licking up and down the underside of his shaft, noticing how his erection had grown his penis to at least 8 inches. She dipped her head up and down the length of his penis, getting about halfway before hitting the back of her throat and gagging. Although this action pleased Naruto greatly as his hand rubbed her hair and as he let out throaty moans. She continued to suck his cock for a few minutes before Naruto couldn't take it anymore. He used both hands and grabbed tuffs of her hair before bringing her face down to the base of his cock, with her nose touching his pubic mound above his cock.

"Just let me handle this Tsunade."

He sat up and proceeded to face fuck the Hokage. If anyone had walked in at this moment, they would have seen Tsunade Senju, one of the most powerful women in the entire world. Currently getting her throat abused by a man, and the most interesting part was how wet she was. Even with slight tears in her eyes from the gagging, she continued to finger herself in pleasure. She was enjoying it so much, something Naruto noticed.

He continued this action for a few minutes, constantly moaning at the feeling of her tight throat constricting around his cock head, but he was nearing the end and Tsunade knew it too from the way he'd sped up his hip movements.

"Gah, Tsunade, I'm almost…Uaugghhhh!"

With one final push he delivered a full load of sperm directly down her throat. He pulled out and let her swallow it, and enjoyed the afterglow of absolutely wrecking the Hokage's face with his penis. By the look of euphoria on her face, she must've liked the taste of his sperm.

Even with the amazing feeling of post-cum Naruto was stilled worried about the look on her face, he'd seen how she'd been fingering herself while her face was being punished, there was only one possibility. While face fucking the Hokage, he'd unlocked some Masochistic tendencies locked deep within Tsunade.

Oh, fuck.

Shit just got that much more difficult, oh boy.

But he'd think about that later, now he had a plan to work on. As Tsunade swallowed the last bits of his sperm and stared up at him, he was almost angry at himself for following the rule with dominatrix women, he was almost angry that he couldn't just 'finish her' completely.

Almost…

So as Tsunade stood up, removed her pants, and straddled him with her sopping pussy hovering right above his half-erect penis, he acted. He shot his hands out and grabbed her hips, pressing her body down so far that her butt cheeks went between his legs.

But his penis moved in front of her vagina, not entering it. He pulled Tsunade as close as possible to him, positioning his mouth next to her ear as he started to rub the underside of his penis against the outer folds of her pussy.

"Do you want it Tsunade-chan?" He whispered softly in her ear as he slowly continued his ministrations.

Her response was in the form of a moan "NN-Yesss"

"How badly do you want it?"

"So bad, just give it to me! Stick your throbbing cock deep into my quivering pussy!" She was begging for it, her need for his penis could be seen as the same as a desperate African begging for a drop of water.

She expected for Naruto to stick it in then, to ravage her while she rode him until he came, plastering her inner walls with sperm.

"Well you're not getting it…"

Tsunade was surprised.

"Huh?"

She was incredibly surprised when she was suddenly pushed to the floor, her shirt coming off and her pants getting tied, leaving her in a compromising position.

"If you really want it, then you'll come and find me, when you do, I'll give you everything you've been waiting for."

Those were the last words he said before sending her a final perverse smile and giggle and jumping out the window.

Leaving her high and dry.

Her anger grew to new levels as she realized she'd been built up for nothing. She was so horny that her pussy was ready to consume any man meat that would walk through her door at this point in time. A tick mark grew on her forehead as she realized that she'd have to masturbate to get rid of her current need.

"You little fucking INCESTUOUS BEAST! WHEN I FIND YOU, I'LL FUCKING STRAP YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU FUCK ME YOU FUCKING PERVERTED WRETCH!"

From him current position overlooking the women's bath house, Naruto currently smirked as he 'finished' himself off. He always felt so used when he had to do the job himself. But he wouldn't settle for a simple whore in this village when there were so many beautiful kunoichi to choose from.

This incident with Tsunade would prove to be either his downfall, or the start of something that would give him enough research for weeks. He was betting on the better of the two.

He settled his gaze on a certain house as his lecherous grin almost overtook the entirety of his face. Perverted giggles resounded once again through the air like a horny battle cry.

"Just you wait Kaa-chan, your sochi will be meeting you soon. Hehehe, yes…"

A certain female shivered in her sleep as her dreams took another kind of spin, one featuring herself, her son, and a whole lot of lubricant.

Naruto's face became shrouded in darkness as a visage of him ploughing Kushina into her bed sheets appeared behind him, with Kushina screaming out in pleasure as she gripped onto him tightly. His eyes seemed to hold an unearthly glow in the darkness.

"We'll be seeing each other very soon my beautiful Tenshi!"

**END**


	3. Long awaited meeting

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Now, this chapter is just a lemon, something most of you have wanted. I would also like to say one thing before we start...Recently bumped into the forum 'Writers United' it's a pretty chill place, and a nice community, so if you're a writer that is open to different kind of shit, then that's the place to go...**

**Now here's the chapter you've all been waiting for!**

Two pairs of eyes opened groggily as Kushina released a loud yawn. She'd been having the best dream before she woke up, but for some reason she just couldn't remember what happened. It was something about her, her son, and a bottle of…

Ohhhhh.

So that would explain why her pants where absolutely soaked through, and her fingers had enough juice on them to supply a breakfast juice company.

These dreams had been coming and going ever since _he _showed up. Blast him for doing this to her! Why couldn't he have come back as her son? Why couldn't they have become mother and son again, just a family that loved each other in a completely platonic way?

No, instead here she was at – a quick look at a clock said 2pm – 2pm in the afternoon craving her own son's penis! Kami, look at what she'd been reduced to, and he'd only said a few words to her and touched her a little bit. She was desperate for him!

Sighing to herself, she got out of bed and went into her shower, cleaning the residual juices left on her pussy from where she'd gushed a fountain. Minato had never been able to make her come this much and she didn't think she was able to either. She huffed, trying not to compare her late husband and son as lovers, although from what she felt through her towel at the hot springs, her son was quite large in the-

'Damnit Kushina! Just calm down, wash yourself clean and go downstairs! You're going to get yourself a massive breakfast and then go around the village for some shopping! You might even ask for a mission outside of the village! Yeah, just keep your mind off how large your son's cock is, and how good it would feel tucked deep inside your-' Realizing the direction her thoughts were taking, she reacted in anger, the Uzumaki way.

"FUCK!"

Grabbing the nearest object, a shampoo bottle, and throwing it across the room, she breathed in deeply as she tried to rid her mind of the oncoming onslaught of images.

She sighed again before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. Taking care to wash the crevice between her breasts, as well as her glistening pussy. Nodding to herself as she finished, she slipped on a loose kimono with nothing underneath it and walked down the stairs to the kitchen.

She hummed softly to herself as she walked past the kitchen table, which her son was currently sitting at, and proceeded to get a pan from the cupboard in order to make her breakfast eggs.

*SMASH! CLATTER!*

She turned around slowly, for some reason not bothering to tighten the kimono she currently had on, even though it practically showed all of her breasts, and stopped just below her lower lips. She stared in shock at her son, and noticed with slight happiness that he was taking in all of her curves, jotting down stuff in his notepad and giggling perversely.

She stomped towards him, her kimono loosening even more, slightly showing the side of her right nipple. This was something Naruto was enjoying to the fullest, even as his mother rounded on him, he was burning the image of her in an extremely tight kimono, one nipple showing as both her breasts strained on the fabric, into his brain for all of his days to come.

"What are you doing here Naruto?! Why didn't you come to visit your mother earlier!? Off gallivanting with the Konoha sluts huh? Tell me young man!"

Kushina's face was red from shouting, although she didn't know if her anger was from the fact he didn't visit her earlier, or the fact he was probably sleeping with another woman. Her anger wore out as Naruto's eyes slightly gained a sad look; he lost his smile and put away his notebook as he started to think about the current situation.

'Kaa-chan isn't acting the way I thought she would be; I expected a stomach hit, or a punch to the face. Why is she acting so nervous? And if I dare say…Jealous?'

He had to use every ounce of his willpower to hide the perverted combination of giggle and smile that he knew would appear, he had an idea of why his Kaa-chan was acting this way.

'It…it all makes sense! From the way she sounded jealous about me seeing over women, to the way she doesn't bother covering herself more! She's attracted too me… Ok, time to test the waters….I need to make sure!' Readying himself, he started at the angry female hovering over him.

'Time to move!'

He struck in less than a second, moving close to Kushina, far inside her personal space, wrapping his arms around her midsection and locking her in place. She released a gasp and tried to fight his grasp

"Let go of me! I'm your mother!" Although she tried to fight it, her struggling became less and less, until she finally settled herself for wrapping her arms around his neck and placing her head on his chest.

"Why did you leave sochi? Why did you leave your Kaa-chan? I could have trained you to become strong! Why, it's been 7 years since you left and you just decide to turn up now, why?"

He furrowed his eyebrows as she started to let out small sniffles, he could also feel the front of his shirt dampening. He'd have to be careful with this.

He spoke softly, slowly rubbing her back "Kaa-chan, look at me."

Kushina moved her head up and stared at him, tears accumulating in the corners of her eyes as her lips started to quiver. He gave her a small real smile, not a perverted one like he'd usually show.

"I left so I'd be able to keep you safe, so that one day I could come back and protect you, that day is today." She didn't seem convinced, still sniffling and holding her face close to his chest.

"Kaa-chan," He spoke softly "I left because I had to learn the real world, to know the dangers out there, and I learnt and found more than I could ever dream of!"

He tilted her head upwards, holding her chin with his forefingers so that she could see his face directly.

"Do you know what I discovered on that journey?" She shook her head as he smiled with more love than a child should hold for their mother.

"I found out how much I truly loved you. I may be a pervert, and act like a beast, but I never forgot about you, or your beauty." He finished his speech and gave her a kiss on the forehead, prompting her to blush a nice crimson, her face matching her hair. She was about to open her mouth to object when he put his finger on her lips.

"Just listen, I know that you're going to say it's wrong, and that other people will look at us with disgust, but it doesn't matter Kaa-chan." Naruto gave her a resolute look, his grip tightening around her even more as the next words he spoke brought more tears to her eyes.

"I love you Kaa-chan, I love you so much it hurts, every time I faced a danger on my trip, it was you that gave me a reason to live. Please Kaa-chan please let me love! You deserve my love, and so much more…" By the end of his speech Kushina was fully crying, sobbing as tears stained her face, but even as she did this she still stared at him, into his eyes, into him.

"Oh Naruto-kun, I…" She hesitated with her words, knowing that once she spoke them there was no going back, they would never once return to the strictly child and son relationship they once held, there would no longer be small hugs and kisses on the cheek, no. If she spoke these words they'd be something more, they'd share long hugs, and romantic grasping while holding each other tightly, they would start to kiss each other passionately with mouth and tongue, with neither wanting to stop even if their breaths were demanding it.

But this was something she wanted, no, needed. She needed somebody in her life, with the meeting at the hot springs; it had sparked something inside her, a flame wanting to be let out. She wanted him, she wanted her son.

She took a deep breath, readying herself for something that she'd never be able to back out from, it was now or never. Would she stay as a single woman, satisfying herself with toys to get a quick pleasure fix? Or would she finally accept the truth that she loved her son in no way a mother should, and that she constantly dreamed, almost begged for her sons cock? Well that answer's quite simple really.

"Naruto-kun, I love you…" Without any hesitation at all she shot her head forward and connected herself to her sons lips, revelling in the soft feeling of his tongue as it twisted and twirled with hers in a battle for dominance. They stayed in that same position, holding one another as they shared a passionate lip lock that signalled the end of their mother and son relationship, and the start of something more…

Something greater…

While this lip lock was occurring, both minds were thinking completely separate things.

While Kushina was thinking 'Oh my Kami, I'm kissing my own son on the lips, this is so wrong, but so right! Why was I such a fool to deny this earlier, oh Naruto, I love you so much sochi!'

Her thoughts were loving, happy to be sharing this passionate moment with her new son/lover. Naruto's on the other hand…

'I FUCKING DID IT! Oh Kami above and below, you've really delivered this time! Oh lord, her boobs have slipped completely out of the kimono, holy shit *Groan* Fuck her body feels so good. But… She wasn't as hesitant, so it's true; Kaa-chan was attracted to me… But since when? The hot springs… YES! Our meeting must've sparked some desire inside her! Now it's finally time, there's no better time to start our 'meeting' *Perverted mind giggle* But you're my Kaa-chan, Kushina-chan, so I'll be treating you extra special!'

Separating from their lip lock, a line of saliva connection them together, Naruto moved his eyes from hers to look at her breasts. Kushina stood there slightly awkwardly as he stared intently at her revealed melons.

Without any hesitation he brought his hands forward and grasped her two mounds, causing her to moan at the lovely feeling. He continued to squeeze them while tweaking and flicking the nipples, making her light on her feet. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he continued to work on her chest, one hand going down and undoing the knot holding her kimono together. Her kimono still hung onto as her body as he silently picked her body up, holding her bridal style as he walked into her bedroom without a word.

He stopped at the foot of her bed still holding onto her as they looked deeply into each other's eyes. They slowly brought their lips together as they engaged in a slow and sensual kiss, one shared between two true lovers, both of their tongues wrapping around one another in a sign of love, not fighting for dominance, but working in unison to pronounce how deeply their love ran.

Naruto disconnected from the kiss as he laid Kushina onto the bed, her kimono finally coming loose allowing him to get a full view of her body. Her breasts were still perky as ever, with her nipples becoming hard at the previous attention. Her pussy mound was already wet with anticipation as she slowly rubbed her legs together. Her feet were pointed towards him, with absolutely no marks or bruises defining her skin. She was flawless in his eyes, and as he looked into her eyes, seeing the immense need for love, he moved.

He took off his clothing quickly, not bothering to waste with such unneeded movements. In a few seconds he was naked in front of her, his penis already erect to its full 8 inches, something that Kushina was staring at with longing, he noted proudly.

He moved and then hovered above her, her luscious red hair spanning out beneath them. He first kissed her on the tip of her nose, causing her to giggle, and then kissing each of her cheeks, before finally leaving a loving kiss on her lips, something which she gladly returned. He lifted from her lips then glided downwards, kissing her stomach and bellybutton, and then finally moving down to her crotch he kissed the insides of her thighs, before finally resting his gaze on her glistening pussy. He blew a bit of hot air on it as Kushina shivered from the sensation, her legs coming around the back of his head on reflex, coercing him closer.

They shared a final loving gaze as Naruto softly whispered a few words that brought tears to Kushina's eyes.

"I may be an ultra-pervert… But you're special Kaa-chan…You're not like the others… You're not just a one night stand… I love you Kaa-chan, so, so, so much… I just wanted you to know that…"

Kushina had to choke back a sob of happiness as she replied "I love you too sochi…My Naruto-kun…"

With those final words said, Naruto moved in, attaching his mouth to her core. He used his fingers to spread her lips as his tongue attacked the core directly, pushing in and out, finding all the right spots.

Kushina was in heaven, it'd been so long since she'd had anything of a man down there, since it was Naruto it made it that much sweeter. She moved her hands above her head as she enjoyed his actions to the fullest, screaming out in pure pleasure as he both hit the perfect spot inside her pussy and lightly rubbed her clit. She wouldn't last for much longer, and Naruto knew that.

He sped up the movements of his tongue as he felt Kushina gyrate her hips against his face, trying to speed up the imminent orgasm. This continued for a few minutes until Naruto moved his face away before sticking two fingers into her pussy and lightly biting her clit with his teeth. This was all Kushina could handle as she screamed in pleasure, coating Naruto's face and chin in liquid that was greedily gulped up by Naruto. He kept licking her core as she rode out her orgasm, her legs lying limply to the side of Naruto, her breathing becoming heavy as she tried to recover.

Naruto moved up her body and placed his face above hers, his arms to either side of her head, watching her smile in happiness and sharing a smouldering kiss. Kushina didn't mind if she tasted herself in his mouth, it just added more passion to the experience. Calming her breathing and nodding to Naruto as she smiled at him, he lined himself up with her entrance.

He rubbed his head up and down her folds a few times before sharing one last glance. She nodded once again and he pushed in, spreading her lips and entering her bit by bit.

Oh she was tight…By god she was so deliciously tight…

He kept pushing in until their hips were touching, with Kushina's legs once again wrapping around Naruto's waist, keeping him locked in. They stayed like that for a few moments, with Naruto relishing in the feeling of delectable tightness, and Kushina enjoying the feeling of being filled to the absolute brim once again.

Naruto started out slowly, gyrating his hips a bit, but the pace grew and grew until he was pistoning in and out of her, both of them shouting and moaning in pleasure. The sounds of flesh hitting flesh resounding through the entire room. There was no care here; just reckless abandon, a primal need to fulfil their carnal desires in the fastest way possible. It was half an hour and Naruto was reaching his limit, the bed moving back and forth with his actions, he started to speed up as he closed in on his impending release. Kushina, too, could feel her orgasm quickly approaching. This was the first fuck she'd had in 17 years and she was still sensitive from the eating out she'd had earlier.

Naruto was first to blow, releasing a roar of pleasure as he buried himself as deep as he could inside her, depositing a thick load directly right into her womb. This was all Kushina could take as she screamed in mind numbing pleasure, the combination of penis inside her and the warm seed splashing against her insides being all she could take. She raked her fingers across his back as he deposited himself deep inside her.

They stayed there for a few moments; faces next to each other with Naruto slumped on top of her. Both of them tired from their session.

Both were silent as they simply basked in the afterglow, Naruto still buried inside her with Kushina enjoying the feeling of fullness.

"Naruto-kun… Thank you… I love you my sochi…"

He hovered above her again as he gave her another smile, a true smile. This wasn't time to be playing his perverted antics, to be joking around and acting like she was just another conquest, she was more than that.

"I love you too Kaa-chan…"

He rested above her, lips only inches apart, before finally bringing his mouth down in a small second long kiss, a small peck. He brought his face back up to stare into her eyes, there was just something about them that allured him, the way those violet orbs sparkled with happiness. When he said it he truly meant it. He loved his mother. He loved Kushina Uzumaki. And she loved him to.

He brought his lips down again, and shared a soft and loving kiss. Not a wild one like they'd shared before, but a slow and sensual one that sent tingles up both of their spines. They could both feel him getting hard again, and he moved slowly, not speeding up this time. They continued their loving kiss as they never lost eye contact, some would think it creepy to share eye contact for long periods of time during love making, for them it just seemed…right…

Naruto and Kushina both brought their hands together and intertwined their fingers as they continued their kiss, with Kushina wrapping her legs behind his.

They both moaned lowly into their kiss as Naruto continued his hip movements, slowly retracting his penis so that only the head was left inside, and then pressing forward with a long, steady and slow stroke that left him buried to the hilt. Kushina responded by moving her hips in sync with his, creating a steady and perfect rhythm. They were in perfect synchronization, as Naruto pulled back his thrusts, so did Kushina, as he pushed, so did she.

This wasn't like the hot rough sex before; it was a loving and soft embrace, cementing their love for each other. Their actions were slow and sensual, loving and meaningful. They truly were lovers made for each other.

Eventually they felt their need for release growing, with Naruto still continuing his steady strokes, not speeding up in the slightest. Their eyes stayed locked as they shuddered into the kiss, both experiencing one of the most amazing orgasms of their lives. Naruto lessened his strokes to only bringing his head out halfway before pushing back in, his seed filling Kushina up to the brim as it continued to pour into her womb.

No words needed to be shared as they tightened the grip they had on each-other's hands, wrapping their tongues around one another's for one last time before separating, moving their heads apart. Naruto moved them further up the bed where they rested their heads on the pillows; Kushina was resting on top of Naruto as they both fell into a blissful slumber.

Naruto's penis never left the warm, soft and silky confines of her core that night. They stayed intertwined like a group of vines, tightly packed to never let go.

The last thought that Kushina had before falling into the greatest sleep she'd ever had, was a simple one, and one that she'd be saying many times in the future.

'How can my son be this good…?'

END


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